Laugh, Kookaburra! March 30, 2010

One of my favorite songs in elementary school was the Kookaburra song. It is an Australian nursery rhyme that we learned and I just remember laughing every time we would sing this song. I have never seen a kookaburra nor have I heard it laugh. The lyrics go a little something like this:

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree
Merry, merry king of the bush is he
Laugh, Kookaburra! Laugh, Kookaburra!
Gay your life must be (ha ha)

My music teacher always did the Ha Ha at the end to illustrate the happiness of the kookaburra. Even though there are other lyrics, that was the main verse that was taught to us in school.

There are many things that have made me cry, but so many moments that have brought laughter to my laugh. Growing up, I always loved to laugh and even found myself searching for ways to make others laugh. I was always observant to listen to how others would laugh. For instance my dad has a very high pitched laugh and my mom has a loud belly laugh. Being that I was never fully comfortable with my laugh as a child, I mimicked other laughs. For instance there was the Ernie from Sesame Street laugh, followed by the Eddie Murphy laugh, and now my laugh is just a combo of my mom and dad.

I truly believe that when we don’t take the time to laugh, we fail to nurture our inner child. Laughter is a gift that needs to be nurtured and needs to be done more often. I’m not saying laugh just to be laughing at things that are not funny, but laughter can break barriers and unite people through various circumstances.

When my children were babies the sound of their laughter was golden. My daughter loved to laugh so much that she loved to be tickled on her stomach. As you would tickle her on her stomach her laughter would rev like a motor and just keep going and going until she would let out a deep sigh. Oh how I love to hear her laugh even today.

Even in the darkest times of our life, laughter seems so far away. Laughter is often the last thing that we want to do. However, I think that even in those dark moments, laughter can be the best medicine and the greatest cure for all that ails us.

Live your life full of joy and find laughter in the wonderment of life.

Blessings!

Joy in spite of January 19, 2010

This past week I preached on the question of “Why?” in response to the earthquake in Haiti and also in response to the failed Christmas Day terrorist attack and the upcoming trials of suspected terrorists in New York. The question why was a way to look at all that takes place around us when catastrophes occur in our lives. The text used was Lamentations 3:22-33. What is interesting about this particular passage is that even in the midst of calamity around him, Jeremiah wept for Israel condition, but still held on knowing that God was faithful to those who loved and were obedient to God.

Can you imagine loosing everything. You are displaced. There is no way to contact friends or loved ones. Everything that was once familiar has now become unfamiliar. You find yourself surrounded by strangers, many who do not speak your language and are unfamiliar with your culture. But even in the midst of the chaos and rubble you rely on God’s faithfulness.

Now imagine that happening now in Haiti.

Through the words of prophets like Jeremiah, Isaiah, and others we can experience a glimpse of life in exile for those in the fallen kingdoms of Israel and Judah. The destruction that lay upon their cities and the displacement of friends and loved ones. Sacred places of worship had been destroyed and the life they knew had ended.  This is something that we often miss, there were some people that had been exiled and were faithful and obedient to God! Everybody wasn’t wicked, there were those that believed, worshiped, and were obedient to God. In the midst of being taken away, they still praised God and they remained faithful to the promise that they would be delivered!

Fast forward to January 13, 2010. Imagine Haiti and the people of Port-au-Prince being displaced by this massive earthquake. Yet even in the midst of losing everything, there are those who remain faithful to God. For those that are there, they sing loud and strong: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The Lord is my portion’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in the Lord.’” — Lamentations 3:22-24. New Revised Standard

When we have joy beyond our circumstances, it doesn’t mean that we are overtly optimistic with no sense of reality. We see what is real, address it, but remain faithful to God knowing that God’s provision will cover that moment and the moments to come. God’s love is steadfast and it never ends.

Looking at your circumstances you’re probably thinking, I have it pretty bad. But be encouraged and remember Lamentations 3:22-24. Let it absorb into your spirit and let it be your prayer. Have faith, and remain faithful in knowing that God will provide and God’s love is abundant.

Blessings.

The Joy of Laughter January 14, 2010

The greatest joy in the world is to hear my daughter laugh.  In the early stages of motherhood, it seemed like there was very little I could do to please my daughter Kelly. She seemed to cry all the time and nothing seemed to satisfy her. The only time it seemed she found joy was when her dad was home or when my mom would visit. Between the two of them, Kelly was a very happy baby, but not with me. However, something changed.

Like every new mom, you do everything you can to please the new little person through conventional and non-conventional means. After trying practically everything, I discovered that she liked to be tickled. Sensitive areas were her stomach, feet/toes, and her neck. At three months old, she had discovered the complex joy of being tickled. Who knew! When I would tickle her she would let out a laugh that was rich and full of joy. For that moment, my baby and I had bonded through my action and her response.

For any parent, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for your children. The relationship between mothers and daughters is often complex and full of anxiety. As times and roles change there are fears that you have and you pray that your daughter will never have to walk the path that you may have endured. Paths of denial, sexism, racism, misogyny, exclusion, and just pain and heartache. Heartache that is opposite of her rich laugh. Heartache that pierces your soul instead of enriching it.

The Gentile woman that came to Jesus was looking for a miracle. She missed hearing her daughter’s laughter. The laughter that once filled her house with joy and peace was now filled with screams of anguish and torment. What was once a joy-filled girl was now a girl filled with torment. This girl found herself conflicted and battling with someone that was greater than her own understanding. It doesn’t matter how the girl became possessed, but what matters is that she was and she needed relief from her torment.

Desperate to save her daughter and to even hear the sound of laughter again, she presses her way to Jesus. In her path of approaching him, many thoughts ran through her head.  As she approached him her mind was racing:  “Who am I to ask this man, this Jewish man to help my daughter?” “What if he is not the real thing?” What if what everyone is saying about him is true and I don’t try it?” “What if this doesn’t work?” “Will I lose my daughter?”… “If I don’t try I will lose my daughter.”

Facing her fears and in pursuit of hope and peace, she pursues Jesus. His disciples insist that he tells her to go away.  If they only knew what she was dealing with they would understand.  The shrieking, the crying, had to end.

But she wants so desperately to hear her daughter laugh. After calling out and explaining to him her situation he turns to her. She waits and wonders…. ”Could this be it?” “What will he do?”

Instead he tells her “It is not fair to take the children’s food and through it to the dogs.” Had he actually likened her to a dog? Yet in her quest to heal her daughter she says, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs from their master’s table.” He responds to her by saying that she has shown great faith. Moved with compassion  for this woman who had shown a great amount of faith and who was not of Jewish decent, Jesus heals her daughter.

I wonder what it was like for that woman to return home.  As she returned home, instead of shrieks of agony, there were shrieks of joy and laughter. In her action, she went to Jesus and pleaded for the healing of daughter. Through her pleading she received her daughter’s laughter given back to her through the healing of Jesus.

There are many mothers who have not heard the laughter from their daughters in a while. Both mother and daughter are in pain and wonder when will the crying and stress end.  In the midst of the turmoil and in the midst of  confusion and agony, there is hope to reconcile and to be delivered from the source of the rift that may have caused the dissension.

As we pray for daughters who have stopped laughing, we also pray for mothers who are pleading on their behalf.  May God restore their relationship and provide them with healing and strength that comes through Christ and the Holy Spirit.

The day he left January 12, 2010

I didn’t know that the day my dad left would be one of the worst days of my life. Without what seemed to be any warning, he quietly left. Daddy was no longer there to take me to school. Daddy was no longer there to talk to me in the morning on the way to school. Daddy was no longer there to watch the Cosby Show with me. Everything that we did together was no longer together. My world had come to a complete standstill.

How could he leave? I know that everyone says he left my mom, but what about me? Didn’t he leave me, too? For some reason I felt shame when daddy left. Why should I have felt shameful. It seemed that everyone knew what had happened between my parents. What had been a private matter that could have been resolved in my family had now become, or what seemed to become, a public matter.

The days ahead were horrible. My grades dropped and depression is an understatement. I felt very alone and very lost. Getting help from my parents was not an option. Getting help from my pastor made me feel needy. Getting help from my friends, well that was a whole other issue in and of itself. Needless to say, there were those that threw me life lines and there were those who couldn’t how I felt and became non existent in my life.

For me, it wasn’t that my parents marriage had ended, but it was about my life coming to an end. My parents had been married for over thirteen years and were upper middle class. So economically, our household took a hit. The other flare was that my parents ended not because of irreconcilable differences but because my dad had gone outside the covenant of marriage because he had an affair. The humiliation that followed was what seemed to be unbearable.

While I remember the day that my dad left, I also remember the days afterwards. When he left, I hated him. There was no honoring him. I did not respect him as a person, father, as a man. I disrespected my father by name calling him and blaming him for my failures. It was hard long road to reconcile because when I asked him why he left or even why he cheated on my mom, his response was “I wasn’t happy.” That response made me think that “If I’m unhappy with mom, I can leave, too.” Too bad all situations don’t work like that. Imagine being on your job and just saying “I’m unhappy” and you just leave without proper notice and without providing any type of closure to your former employer! Tacky!

The days, led to weeks, months, years. My dad and I finally reconciled our differences prior to my meeting my husband. We were finally able to be in the same room and talk without me wanting to throw something at him. I don’t know how it happened, but I know that there were many people who prayed for me and prayed for him. I don’t know how God did it, but God did.

God placed people in my life to help me get over the hurt. Through God, I learned how to forgive and even learn to love my dad again. In some ways my healing came from people who took me to Jesus. They were tired of seeing me in a condition that was seemed hopeless. Through their prayers, love, and support they took me to Jesus much like the paralytic man (Mark 2:1-17)

There were times when I did not know what to do or what I was doing. Yet, the women and men in my life saw my hurt and took them to God my parent and prayed for me. Through their prayers, words of encouragement, my relationship with my dad became better.

Today, my dad and I are happy and have a relationship that is nurturing and life giving. The hurt and anger I once had towards him is replaced with gratitude and love.  I have forgiven me and he has in turn forgiven me.  Because Jesus healed my hurt and healed my heart, my dad is a part of my life in which he has been supportive of me. My daddy was their for the birth of my kids and is an intrical part of their lives.

Since that day, I have learned that the day my dad left was the day that God came in and was waiting for me. The loss of a parent allowed me to be connected to my heavenly parent in a way that I could never have imagined.

When people leave, know that there are those around you praying for you. But most of all, know and feel the assurance in knowing that God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit are there with you as well.

Be Blessed!